Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Girl Day, Trash TV & False Alarms



I woke up this morning after 2 hours of sleep to a guy named Chadwick on my front porch. He was here to finally install the new security system. After several hours of cutting, drilling and destroying my wall everything seemed to be in working order. (Key word: Seemed) In the mean time, Katie and Sushi had arrived ready to start our long awaited "Girls Day". Well... not so much long awaited as overdue. Fueled by Slim-Fast and organic bananas we attempted a shopping trip only to be interrupted by a call from the security company.
"Hello Ma'am we received a distress signal from your house, the police are on their way"
Fuck. We rushed across town, back to my house to discover 3 of the most out of shape cops our fine town had to offer strolling around my back yard, later to be joined by paramedics and four firetrucks full of men dressed and ready to battle the fires of hell. After contacting the security company and determining there was a malfunction and huge misunderstanding. I explained to everyone individually the situation and hope that they'd forgive me and the fine folks at ADT. The looks on their faces lead me to believe otherwise. After shutting down the main street in front of my house, being completely embarrassed and conducting damage control, I reset the alarm and we managed to hit up my favorite retail outlet before calling it a day. I bought some booties (yes I said booties) that Katie deemed heinous but I couldn't pass up. I'm glad those girls can make me laugh so much, I always end up in a shitty mood when Jamie's gone and they're exactly what I need right now.

In more relavant news, ACORN, a supposedly non-partisan group that seeks to increase voter registration among lower class and minority citizens has been accused of attempted voter fraud. Seems the ANTICHRIST OBAMA and his minions have added raising the dead and cloning to their arsenals of evil, registering deceased citizens to vote as well as registering the living upwards of 78 times each through bribes and threats.

This is the dirtiest, longest, most dishonest campaign on every front. I'll be glad when it's over and I finally know what we're up against for the next 4 years.



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